The late afternoon sun streamed through his window reflecting off his weathered face. Suffering from late-stage dementia, Jack was experiencing what is known as paradoxical or terminal lucidity. This is when people in the throes of dementia regain the ability to communicate with those around them. For a brief period, the mind is set back to its factory setting and a return to clarity.
As Abby walked into the room, she was surprised to find her father standing at the window with a bemused smile on his face. As Abby approached him, Jack embraced his daughter with a hug, “hello, my sweet angel.” Stunned it had been years since Jack recognized friends, family or the doctors and nurses who cared for him.
They talked and they laughed. Jack who taught literature for over forty years suddenly recalled a favorite poem by e.e. Cummings: Astonished, Abby listened as her father recited a poem that had been locked away in his consciousness:
But here he was clear eyed, lucid, and animated. Her father was back as she had remembered him before the insidiousness of dementia arrived like a thief in the night. “Do you have time to sit?” “Of course, Abby said with the tears flowing down her face.
Love is a place
& through this place of
love move
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places
yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
all worlds
Jack looked up and asked for ice cream. Minutes later, Abby returned with vanilla ice cream. Expecting her father to have forgot he asked for ice cream or that he liked ice cream, Jack’s face lit up as she handed the cup to him.
As Jack ate his ice cream, through the miracle and mystery of the human mind Abby’s father had returned from the land of the lost. The black veil of dementia had been lifted as Jack returned to the land of the living.
They spent hours talking. He told Abby that he had lived a good life. That he married a wonderful woman whose presence he felt all around him, even though she passed away years ago. He talked about his two children and three grandchildren. He expressed gratitude for his few real friends telling Abby that his friends are “keepers.” His cognitive skills restored, Jack repeatedly focused on love and gratitude. Never a religious man, Jack spoke of the feeling that God was with him and that he felt God’s embrace.
Still in a semi-state of shock, Abby hit record on her cell phone, wanting to capture this rare gift.
Eventually Jack grew weary. “Well, it is time to put myself down for a nap. I am a bit tired.” Before dementia, Jacks naps were a running joke with the family. “I need to put myself down for a nap” was what he often would declare before climbing the stairs for his afternoon nap. His children and grandchildren loved Jack in no small part because in many ways, he was just a kid in a grown man’s body. His humor, vulnerability and self-deprecation were among the traits that Abby loved so much about her father.
“I love you dad, more than you ever will know.” “I know, whispered Jack. I know.” As Abby left the room, she looked back before profound emotions of gratitude and thankfulness overcame her.
The next day Abby excitedly returned with her brother and children, anxious for the rest of the family to share in the miracle that she experienced the day before. As they entered Jack’s room he was back in his bed, mute and unaware. The clarity in his eyes had once again grown cloudy.
Jack passed away that evening but not before bestowing this wonderful gift to his daughter.
